Doodles (English only)

Dear English-speaking Visitors,

Most of the publications on my website are in Bulgarian – my mother tongue. However, I decided to write part of it in English, so that some of my friends who don’t speak Bulgarian can read it, too! The info, published in English, is unique, i.e. it is not a translation of my other posts in Bulgarian. This part will be primarily dedicated to books, movies, music – things, which I am interested in. You can send me your comments. The interface is in Bulgarian, but everything is so simple, that I am sure you will be able to find the field where you can type your comment . If you have any difficulties , try this out: http://translate.google.com/translate_t#. I hope you will manage .

Love from me,

Deni 

“Becoming Jane” – surprisingly and achingly beautiful…

I fell in love with this movie, I don’t know exactly WHY. It is certainly NOT very realistic and at times it gets too sentimental, although it is loosely based on true events and real people. But love is (almost) always unreasonable and I love it despite its faults. Perhaps, I like it because it shows the meeting between two independent, strong, intelligent minds, the collision between two passionate tempers – Jane Austen and Thomas Lefroy (an Irish relative of Jane Austen’s close older friend Mrs. Anne Lefroy).  There is proof that the famous authoress had a mutual flirtation with him. Their meeting, unfortunately, did not lead to a happy ending. They separated. But there are hypotheses that Tom Lefroy inspired Jane to write “Pride and Prejudice”. What I really, really like about this movie is that: 1. It is sad, sad, sad: two people love each other but they cannot be together (they are both poor). Now THAT’s certainly veeeeery realistic! 2. It is a movie about making a choice: to do what is RIGHT, or to do what your heart tells you to do. I don’t know what would have been my choice if I were Jane. But if there was even a remote resemblance between the Scottish actor James McAvoy and the real Lefroy, I would have probably chosen the second – and to hell with the consequences! 3. The question of PRICE, as old as the world: If you want your deepest desire or dream to come true, you always have to sacrifice something important and sometimes it is difficult to decide whether “it was worth it”. In Jane’s case, she wanted to write books – and she did. Today she is the most famous British authoress. The price? She never married the man she loved.  For her millions of fans this can only be a relief, because it’s hard to see how a 19th century wife and mother could have found time to write her six wonderful novels. All the same, you do wonder whether she minded. There was a moment when she probably thought that she could have both her dream AND her heart’s desire. But she was dellusional – you can’t have it all. And that is what this movie is about. As a Bulgarian prophetess (Vanga) used to say: “Be careful what you wish for, because the price may be too high”.

This is a fan-made video, based on scenes from the movie and the Evanescence song “My immortal”:

The text reflects very well my mood right now. Here is the text of the song:

My immortal

I’m so tired of being here

Suppressed by all my childish fears

And if you have to leave

I wish that you would just leave

‘Cause your presence still lingers here

And it won’t leave me alone

 

These wounds won’t seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There’s just too much that time cannot erase

 

[Chorus:]

When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears

When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have

All of me

 

You used to captivate me

By your resonating light

Now I’m bound by the life you left behind

Your face it haunts

My once pleasant dreams

Your voice it chased away

All the sanity in me

 

These wounds won’t seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There’s just too much that time cannot erase

 

[Chorus]

 

I’ve tried so hard to tell myself that you’re gone

But though you’re still with me

I’ve been alone all along

 

 

 

 

November 19, 2008

 

It is late in the evening, my daughter Lea is sleeping like an angel but I can’t. I feel as if I am talking to myself or, if not, any day now . My soul is my only soulmate. While trying to organize the files in my PC, I found an old drawing:

  

 

It was accompanied by a short poem:

 

In this unpredictable place of mine,
the crescent shines better than the full moon,
a companion stays longer than a protector,
certain things are better off being left unsaid.

Sometimes I feel as if that poem is perfection itself.

 

I found the drawing and “stole” it from the online community DeviantArt. I am a member, but I never publish anything. Anyway, the drawing and the verse inspired me to write a few haiku(like) short poems a year and a half ago, together with one longer poem. So, here they are:

 

March 1, 2007, written in the bus Jerusalem – Eilat, Israel:

 

***

 

Voice like blueberry jam.

Deep and dark.

Hungry.

 

***

 

Palm trees

Drawing circles with their fingers.

Dates eating birds.

 

***

Power

 

The music inside

Is spreading its wings.

I can sing

Without moving my lips.

Speechless.

I can dance

On my seat

To the music inside.

 

***

 

I want to be

As brave as the grass

Penetrating the rock.

 

***

 

The flying car

Hits the horizon.

Smoke mixed with silence.

 

***

 

The beauty of your eyelashes

Makes me weak

In the knees.

 

***

 

Headphones – one for you, one for me.

Same sound, same world:

Only ours.

January 31, 2009

The questions below about Australia, are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour.Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK). A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA) A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney – can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure, it’s only three thousand miles, take lots of water. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden) A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK) A: What did your last slave die of? Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA) A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not… oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked. Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK) A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is…oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK) A: You are a British politician, right? Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA) A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It’s a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA) A: It’s called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France) A: No, WE don’t stink. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA) A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy) A: Yes, gay nightclubs. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France) A: Only at Christmas. Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA) A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) A: Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first.